The URBAN CELIBATE - Rick Astley, Will You Marry Me?

Posted on 01. May, 2008 by Administrator in Lifestyle

by Mz. Moxy

There is a current phenomenon on the information superhighway called “Rickrolling”. This occurs when one posts a deceptive link to a seemingly ‘must watch’ video clip. The unsuspecting viewer clicks on the enticing promise, only to be falsely led to the 80’s music video for Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up”. As defined by Urbandictionary.com:

RICKROLLING (rik-rO-ling)
Verb

A method in which a prankster makes a fake link to the music video of Rick Astley’s “Never Going to Give You Up”. To be Rickrolled is to be the victim; Rickrolling is the act of being the predator. The prank is considered funny because of the horrible dancing in the music video. Sometimes the bartender in the video is seen to be even funnier. Over one million people and counting have been Rickrolled.

This renaissance O’ Rick has opened my eyes to the magic. Rick has an animal magnetism – there’s no denying it. That deep seductive voice, the greased up red pompadour…these are the unmistakable markings of a supreme Love God. Also in his favor, Rick seems to be very interested in providing long term companionship.

Never Gonna Give You Up

We’re no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment is what I’m thinking of
You wouldn’t get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling
Gotta make you understand

* Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

We’ve know each other for so long
Your hearts been aching
But you’re too shy to say it
Inside we both know what’s been going on
We know the game and were gonna play it

And if you ask me how I’m feeling
Don’t tell me you’re too blind to see

(* repeat)
Never Gonna…
Give you up. give you up
Give you up, give you up
Never gonna give
Never gonna give, give you up
Never gonna give
Never gonna give, five you up

I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling
Gotta make you understand

(* repeat 3 times)

Rick Will Never:

Give Me Up
Rick’s proclamation is re-assuring, loyal, and passionate. Unless he goes overboard, which prompts me to file a restraining order.

Let Me Down
Rick does not disappoint. He aims to please, and damn if he isn’t a sharpshooter. Rick always remembers Anniversaries and Birthdays.

Run Around
Rick is a one-lady man. He’s not one of those sleazy musicians who keeps a tally of every groupie he’s ever banged backstage at County Fairs. I can be sure that if we’re exclusive, he will never betray the sacred vow of our Claddagh rings.

Desert Me
Rick is not intimidated by abandonment issues. He knows that relationships are all too fleeting nowadays, and believes both parties must “put in the work” for a positive union.

Make Me Cry
Rick will never chop onions in my presence. He will never rent Terms of Endearment on movie night.

Tell Me Lies
This sword cuts both ways. I had better think twice before asking Rick if my ass looks fat in these jeans. Rick Astley is the George Washington of relationships.

Hurt Me
Rick would never raise his hand to a woman. He understands that physical violence has long lasting repercussions, and that the scars which hurt the most are the ones that you cannot see.

Rick, you’ve been right all along. I hope this explains what my heart’s been aching for, which I’ve been too shy to say. I’m never gonna give YOU up.

Have a question for the Urban Celebate? Are you Rick Astley and want to profess your love for her? She would love to hear from you: [email protected]

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