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The h Files - Don’t Worry

Posted on 01. Apr, 2008 by Administrator in Lifestyle

APRIL FOOLS!  I really got you there didn’t I?  You thought everything was fine.  Then I said “APRIL FOOLS!” and you were like “What the-?!”  Weren’t you? Yeah.  But don’t let my playful and frisky demeanor fool you.  I’m totally depressed.  Mom says I’m “out of control.”  Funny, I wouldn’t call watching infomercials all day “out of control” but we all have our different understandings of semantics.  Infomercials are the best because there’s no commercials.  You know where they are coming from.  They really love said product and think that you should too.  I mean, everything is like an infomercial.  Especially the news.  But only an infomercial is an infomercial.  Pure.

Did you know the Nazis are winning?  Sucks, but it’s true. Modern warfare isn’t an army storming around being all macho. They now control the enemy through covert means with ways of manipulating and eventually wiping out the masses without them/us knowing it: Take flouride. Mmmmmmmm! I just love water with just a hint of aluminum by-product. They say it makes your teeth shiny and strong. Thanks ALCOA!  The only side effect is that you become a servile sucka slave zombie bitch.  So worth it for the strong teeth though.

Take Aspartame. With no nutritional content in our food, we become fat asses.  To overcome the lethargy, we want a pick me up without those nasty calories.  Diet drinks and chewing gum to the rescue. Aspartame tastes kind of sweet, but breaks down to formaldehyde.  I’m not an ad man, but their slogan could read: “Preserve the good feelings that Aspartame gives you… FOREVER!”

Take Chemtrails and pollution.  They decrease the oxygen levels while increasing heavy metals and toxins in the atmosphere. This helps NATO have a clear radar map the Earth and maintains a high acidic soil level so only Monsanto brand genetically-modified foods can grow. However, these things do not help oxygenate human blood to maintain a healthy body and immune system. Bah! Immune systems: so over-rated. It’s like, “oh look at me, I’m an immune system.” You know? White blood cells are so into themselves, it’s a little much.

Totally depressed yet?  I know.  I don’t mean to be a Dougie downer but it’s all true.  Mom is way tired of me talking about this stuff.  Whenever I do, she immediately starts doing something loud. We’re going to the psychiatrist this afternoon.  Apparently I need to take more pills named after alien overlords and everything will be fine again.  Nevermind that the same nefarious families are still running the show.  Even after they were proven to be supplying the Axis with everything needed for overt genocide and mind control experiments led by that super silly Dr. Mengele.  That didn’t work out so much in the long term, so now it’s a stealth endeavor.

I don’t think I’m out of line saying these Nazis are no fun.  Don’t invite the eugenicists to the party.  I guarantee they’ll ruin it. It’s the whole wanting to kill everybody with the appetizers and punch thing.  Population control is their game and they make the rules.  Don’t take my word for it.  I’m just some two-bit chump. Step right up and see how the Rockefellers, Rothschilds, Warburgs, IG Farben, the Bush klan, and other kooky cohorts created this demented system of destruction we have today.  Disease and war equals big bucks, but money isn’t the end all for these folks.  You see, we’re all playing Survivor and guess who’s getting kicked off the island……..

*(TWO WEEKS LATER)*   

I feel much better.  These pills do work. I’m off of infomercials and have a new love for situational comedies.  Man I never thought they were funny before.  But now!  Hooooooooooooooooo — boy whatta hoot.  I’m embarrassed about what I wrote previously, but I don’t have time to change it.  So it’s a testament to what infomercials and conspiracy theories will do to a person.  Everything is fine.  You just have to accept the way it is.  Mass death and torture doesn’t have to be all serious.  It’s not so bad.  Always been that way.  Who are we to want change? Our trusted representatives are doing a good job. The news actually makes sense if you watch it enough. Diet soda tastes pretty darn good.  And blue skies are boring.  It’s time to be positive.  Positively sure that everything is fine.  I take back my April Fools.  No foolin’.  Just fine.

Love Always,
Doug Davies

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